November 29th: Eunoia- Beautiful Thinking

eunoia: the shortest English word containing all five vowels. It comes from the Greek word εὔνοια, meaning “a well mind” or “beautiful thinking”.

Video Note: I apologize if I said the creators names of ‘The Universe Has Your Back’ wrong.

Just over a week ago I put a lot of thought into sharing what has been going on in my own world, not only for the internet to see, but with people who actually know me-people I see day in and day out.  All synonyms referring to terrified cannot explain how I was feeling when I decided to click the share button.  My instinct in the next second after clicking share was to quickly log off of all social media apps and put my phone in my bedroom, while I cowered under a blanket in the next room afraid of what might happen.  A few hours later I heard my phone from the next room.  It was lighting up with notifications.  And all I could muster was a deep breath and let out a ‘here we go’ sigh.  I unlocked my phone to see what damage I had created within such a short time frame (I mean really – all you have to do is mention something small like what your favourite colour is and the online trolls come out to play).  What I found though was something unexpected and it has left me speechless the past week…

I wasn’t alone.  I was greeted with loving and thoughtful messages.  Some were sent publicly and some were sent privately.  Some were reaching out with their own personal stories revolving around mental health and words of encouragement.  Others were thoughtful messages of support and listening ears.  Some mentioned coping strategies and what has worked for them or their loved ones.  All of them were filled with positivity and love.  It has been more than challenging to remember the good and positive lately – especially when feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.  I feel like I can’t “adult” properly.  Thank you for reminding me how many amazing, loving people I am surrounded by each and every day.  Thank you for taking the time to help build me back up in a time when I am struggling to get a load of laundry done or make it through the day without falling a part. It is nice to face the idea- as much as we like to think we’re capable of taking care of ourselves on our own, everyone needs help to get back up sometimes when life gets tough and that in itself is more than okay.  I just need to keep reminding myself of all the beauty and good and love I am surrounded by when I feel like crumbling back into a hole.  I need to continue to remind myself that it is okay that I am in need of some help.

This is where the word “eunoia” comes into play.  Last March I had this unique word tattooed onto my write forearm as a reminder to continue to think beautifully.  And somewhere in the past few months, I have forgotten how to do just that- to think positively.  An amazing friend of mine dropped off a lovely gift this past weekend as a reminder to keep thinking beautifully.  She gave me ‘The Universe Has Your Back’ deck of cards by Gabrielle Bernstein and illustrated by Micaela Ezra.  Now, you may think I am silly, but I am a huge believer about what you put out into the universe, you get it back in return.  When you give joy, you get back joy and happiness in return.  When you give love, you get back love in return.  When you surround yourself with good, you get good back in return.  And if I had an inkling of doubt recently about this the past few months, I sure as hell am a believer now and from this day forward, because wow- the amazing humans in my life have stepped up to make sure I don’t give up and that says a lot about what kind of beautiful people I have in my life.  And it sure screams volumes about the love I am so fortunate to have in my life.  Today my universe card said “when I lean toward love I am led”.  Now it has taken me a few hours to process, but I think this is what the card means to me: Instead of thriving on fear each day, try to replace that fear with love instead.  Try to learn through love and it will lead you where you need to go.  Carry love with you every day.

Well, this shout out is to you incredible people – people I am lucky to call my friends and my endearing husband: thank you for letting me lean on your love to help me get back to being me.  I love you and words cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am for each and every one of you.  Here’s to positive thinking and stepping forward together.